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*O Most Sovereign Lord of Glory, Ancient of Days, Architect of the Milky Way and Weaver of the Eternal Tapestry of Existence,*  


We, Thy humble servants, do prostrate our hearts before Thy throne of unapproachable light. On this day, in the sacred hour of desperation, we intercede on behalf of our brother, *Efrayim Ya’akov*—a man beset on all sides by the seductive aroma and beguiling whispers of the roasted bean. O God of Elijah, who sent fire from Heaven to consume the offering upon Mount Carmel, we now ask Thee to send a blaze of holy discipline into *Efrayim’s* very soul, that he might incinerate the temptation to partake in the black elixir of mortal weakness, known—yea, dreaded—as coffee.  


*Lord of Hosts,* arm *Efrayim* with a resolve so unyielding that the very gates of caffeine addiction may tremble in terror! Fill him, we pray, with a vigor rivaling the strength of Samson, the courage of David before Goliath, and the stubborn determination of a thousand oxen plowing through rocky soil. May he resist, O Lord, the siren song of the espresso machine and the dark allure of the venti triple-shot caramel macchiato with extra foam. Though the tempter may place mugs steaming with aromatic deceit before him, grant *Efrayim* the discernment to cry out, *“Get thee behind me, Coffee!”*  


*O Holy Spirit, River of Living Water,* pour forth Thy boundless energy into our brother. Let the weariness that once drove him to the caffeinated abyss be drowned in Thy grace. For what is coffee, Lord, when measured against the joy of Thy presence, which invigorates the spirit far more than all the cappuccinos this side of Heaven?  

Father, we know this mountain looms large. But did You not say that faith the size of a mustard seed could cast mountains into the sea? Therefore, we plead with holy boldness: uproot this coffee habit and hurl it into the abyss! Let the mornings of *Efrayim Ya’akov’s* life be powered not by lattes, but by the *sustaining power of Your mercies,* which are new every morning.  

*In these perilous times,* as baristas wield their syrups like daggers and drive-thru lines stretch like snares of the enemy, we ask for angels—yea, battalions of angels—to surround *Efrayim.* Let them guard his steps and shield his nostrils from the seductive steam of temptation. Grant him the strength to proclaim, with resolute voice, *“My cup runneth not with coffee, but with the Lord’s goodness and decaf teas!”*  

And should *Efrayim* falter—should his hand tremble near the cursed bean—let him find not condemnation but the gentle, restorative hand of his Heavenly Father, lifting him once more. For Thy mercies are infinite, Thy patience boundless, and even the coffee-addicted shall know redemption.  

We seal this prayer, O King of Kings, with the might of the name above all names—*Jesus Christ, Victor Eternal.*  

Let it be written in Heaven. Let it be witnessed on Earth.  

*And let it be done.*  

Amen.